.euth

ranggi:

silentrefraction:

(Indonesian version)

Sebenarnya ini bukan tentang kematianmu, bukan itu.

Karena, aku tahu bahwa semua yang ada pasti menjadi tiada pada akhirnya, dan kematian adalah sesuatu yang pasti, dan kali ini adalah giliranmu untuk pergi, aku sangat tahu itu.

Tapi yang membuatku tersentak sedemikian hebat, adalah kenyataan bahwa kematian benar-benar dapat memutuskan kebahagiaan dalam diri seseorang, sekejap saja, lalu rasanya mampu membuatku menjadi nelangsa setengah mati, hatiku seperti tak di tempatnya, dan tubuhku serasa kosong melompong, hilang isi.

Kau tahu sayang, rasanya seperti angin yang tiba-tiba hilang berganti kemarau gersang.

Pada airmata yang jatuh kali ini, aku selipkan salam perpisahan panjang, pada kesetiaan yang telah kau ukir, pada kenangan pahit manis selama kau ada, aku bukan hendak mengeluh, tapi rasanya terlalu sebentar kau disini.

Mereka mengira akulah kekasih yang baik bagimu sayang, tanpa mereka sadari, bahwa kaulah yang menjadikan aku kekasih yang baik.

Mana mungkin aku setia padahal memang kecenderunganku adalah mendua, tapi kau ajarkan aku kesetiaan, sehingga aku setia, kau ajarkan aku arti cinta, sehingga aku mampu mencintaimu seperti ini.

Selamat jalan,

Kau dari-Nya, dan kembali pada-Nya, kau dulu tiada untukku, dan sekarang kembali tiada.

Selamat jalan sayang, cahaya mataku, penyejuk jiwaku,

Selamat jalan, calon bidadari surgaku…

- B.J. Habibie

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(English Version)

Truth be told, this is not about your death. It never was. 

I am very aware that everything will cease to exist at the end of the day, and death is an absolute, and this is your path to walk on, this is your time to go. I know that perfectly well. 

But what struck me to the very core is the fact how death can undoubtedly erase all existing happiness within a person, and in a blink of an eye create an abysmal turmoil and grief. My heart has seemed to lose its composure and my body is now merely void without a soul, without substance.

You know, love, it feels like the wind has suddenly dissolved into a long winding drought.

With the tears shed for you this time, I attached an endless goodbye message. For the loyalty you carved into my life, for the bittersweet memories when you were still here. It is not that I want to complain, but really, it feels to me you had stayed only too briefly and left too early.

Everyone presume that it is I who was the ultimate lover for you, dear, but what had escaped from their knowledge is the fact that you were the person who changed me into one.

How could I stay loyal when my tendency was to stray? But you showed me what loyalty means, relentlessly you showed me until I embraced it. You taught me love, until I am now capable to love you this contently.

Goodbye,

You were given by Him, and you will return to Him. You were once nowhere for me to be found and now you are back to nowhere for me to be found.

Goodbye, my dear, the light of my sight, the care to my soul. Goodbye, my dear heavenly angel…

- B.J. Habibie